How To Be a Positive Influence To Friend With a Mental Health Issue

Do you have a friend with a mental health issue? You may have times you want to shake them and tell them to snap out of it. You believe their fears are irrational, and you can’t understand why they can’t get over it. You feel at a loss about how to help them. You’ve tried.

Know that what they’re feeling is real, and, yes, you can be a positive influence to a friend with a mental health issue if you approach them with compassion and patience. Here’s how to do it.

Smile Every Time You See Them

This will brighten their day when they see their friend who is genuinely happy to see them. If your friend is feeling down and/or unwanted, this will surely boost their spirit.

This isn’t the same as saying “cheer up” or “look on the bright side,” which often have the opposite effect of what’s intended. A smile is an action, a gift from you to another person that expresses human connection and love.

Smiles are contagious, and even fake smiling activates the parasympathetic nervous system. This network of body functions communicates that everything is okay; it’s time to relax and recharge. When your friend smiles back, you’re encouraging their body to activate these healing systems.

Take Them Out for Lunch/Dinner

Your friend may constantly be under stress and all kinds of negative emotions due to school, relationships, current events, etc. Taking them out for a nice meal can give them an escape from the real world for a bit.

When people have a mental health issue, they may feel so stressed that they “don’t have time to go out.” Or they isolate themselves because they don’t want to be around people. But the big secret is when a person gets out there, they start to feel better.

Going out to lunch isn’t going to cure a mental illness. But it can ease the symptoms by momentarily taking your friend out of their usual circumstances and environment.

If they’re very resistant, start slow. Ask them to come with you to pick it up, and then work toward a meal out.

Try to Relate to Their Struggles and Listen

We are all under so much stress, and you want to provide all the answers that make it better. But sometimes trying to find solutions to their problems isn’t good enough or even appreciated. It can feel judgmental at the moment.

When someone shares what’s going on in their life, they just want to know you hear them. They’re not asking you to solve their problems. In fact, they may find it frustrating when you try to do so. Chances are, they’ve already thought of that. Talking about the solution and actually putting it into practice are two different things.

You don’t have to agree with everything but listen with an open mind, trying to understand their viewpoint so they feel heard and validated. Many people with a mental disorder have a feeling of not being listened to. They’ve had people tell them to snap out of it, blaming them for their mental health issues. As their friend, don’t be one of those people.

Let them talk. And if the conversation turns very defeatist, don’t reinforce those thinking patterns. Just hear them out because quite often, when someone can talk and know they’re heard, they begin to develop their own solutions and apply them.

If your friend seems distant and doesn’t want to talk about it, know that they may have had bad experiences in the past where people judged them and shamed them. Connect with them emotionally, so they feel safe to open up. That leads us to the next way you can positively influence a friend with mental health issues.

Be Patient

Their emotions feel raw; their problems are persistent and unending. So their anxiety and stress will not go away after a few acts of kindness. Continuing to relate to them and make them feel heard can boost their ego and help them open up emotionally. They now have a safe place to start processing what they’re feeling.

Consistently being there for them shows your commitment to them and their mental health. Sporadic acts of kindness won’t make their problems go away, but consistent support and compassion every time you see them demonstrates you’re here for them, and they’re heard.

Learn the Truth

1 in 5 American adults is affected by a mental health issue. A friend with a mental health issue can’t just snap out of it. And it’s not their fault, but we can all be part of the solution.

Here, at Jonas Hill, we can help. We understand that many are out there living in fear with chronic anxiety. Anxiety is a protective mechanism. When it’s working as it should, it helps get you up in the morning so you’re not late for work or encourages you to study so you’ll pass the test. It keeps us safe and productive. When it isn’t, it destroys your health, happiness, and quality of life. You don’t have to live in fear any longer. You can live well without overwhelming fear. There is a place where people hear you.

We encourage you to explore our Treatment Options. You are heard here.

Jonas Hill Hospital & Clinic, a division of Caldwell Memorial Hospital, provides our community with safe, dignified and integrated care for adult patients experiencing an acute mental health need. We provide hope, treatment, and healing through a holistic program of evidence-based psychiatric treatment, team-based medical care, and education provided by engaging and dedicated professionals in a safe and healing environment. Contact Jonas Hill Hospital and Clinic today at (828) 394-6722 for more information. A safe space to heal.